quick check in

we're up to 142

Make that 98

98 & counting...

91 in

We've been getting a pretty steady stream of RSVP cards in. So far - 91 people will be attending our little shin dig.

We are expecting 150 - so there are more to still come in. And I'm guessing we'll be making some phone calls and sending emails last minute.

If you haven't responded yet, visit our wedding webpage and RSVP online.

Have a happy Thanksgiving! We're a month out! YIPPIE!!!

picture pages!

our engagement pictures

sorry, you do have to sign up and log in to view the photos. BUT - this will be the same website for the photos from the wedding, so you may as well go ahead and sign up. :)

rsvp

invitations went out on november 1 - and already the rsvp cards are flowing in!

i have 14 responses. 10 yes, and 4 no. i've got my excel spreadsheet all set up and ready for an organized attack on these reply cards.

plus - i'm using my theknot.com website, too (http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/AmberMcMeen&AlexanderGates) it's got all kinds of checklists and whatnot to keep me busy for hours.

i've been working on to do lists for myself, and others to get this wedding off the ground.

we're getting closer, folks. yay!!!!!!!!!!

-the future mrs. g

hey mr dj, put a record on...

we went to a wedding this weekend, and the couple had the same dj company we have hired. only their dj was NOT what we were hoping to have. so - i'm setting up a meeting with the dj company hopefully for this wednesday when we're in town doing our engagement shoot. (we didn't do it last week, because it was raining)

i want it specifically written that there will be no chicken dance, no electric slide, no boot scootin' boogie, no cheese. and that there WILL BE SLOW SONGS. because at this other wedding, there was only 1 - and that was the father of the bride dance. i'm sorry - but people feel romantic at weddings, and they want to dance with their sweeties. so slow songs they shall have.

other meetings with other vendors went great - and i had a fitting for my gown on friday - it fit LIKE A GLOVE. It looks like it was made specifically for me.

still working on the assemblage of the wedding invitations. it's a bigger job than i was ready for. hopefully, they'll go out this monday.

otherwise, we're rolling right along.

-a

busy wednesday

This Wednesday - I'll be in Tulsa all day meeting with vendors. It's going to be action-packed!

9am - florist
11am - string quartet
230pm - venue
430pm - engagement pictures*

*we might put the engagement pictures off one more week - just because I'll be so busy, and I don't want to look all frazzled in the pictures! :)

*sigh* I'd better rest up for the week ahead!

-b

Lune de miel

So many people have asked about our honeymoon - here are the details...

We are going to the El Dorado Royale in Riveria Maya, Mexico. That is right near Cancun. It is a couples only, all inclusive resort. We have reserved an infinity pool swim up casita - which basically means that we have our own little house with our own infinity pool, and someone to bring us drinks with umbrellas in them.

It will be a week-long visit to paradise! And I'm looking forward to the rest and relaxation with my brand new husband! :)

Feel free to be jealous.

-a

this one goes out to my audience of one....

We are ready to send out invitations.



Stress: Amber, you're going to forget to send these to important people and hurt their feelings. You're going to mess up more than you have extras to cover. People are going to think these are ugly and cheesy.

Me: But, Stress... I've worked very hard on my spreadsheets, and my address book is more up-to-date now than it has ever been, AND I think the invitations are gorgeous!

Stress: Go eat some chocolate.

Me: sigh

Thus the cycle of invitation mailing has begun.

-a

Cha-ching.

Despite appearances - what is most important to me is not ribbon, tulle, the meal at the reception, the bar bill, or the wedding gown. I do not care if people leave our wedding saying "I've been to nicer, ritzier weddings".

What is most important to me is that I will get to marry my best friend, and that he and I will be together for the rest of our lives.

That is the most important thing.

That having been stated - it bears noting that we are planning a non-small wedding. And, thanks in part to our age and relative success - we are footing the majority of the bill. (not to diminish AT ALL the contributions that we have received - they are VERY MUCH appreciated) Here's why that's stressful for us... Weddings are ridiculously expensive. And these vendors know that they can play on your emotions VERY easily. "It's your one special day" "How many times are you going to have a wedding?" "If you don't want to splurge on your wedding, I can understand that" SHEESH! It's evil profiteering, and at the same time - they are not wrong. This is our special day, and we want it to be unforgettable, and wonderful, and magical...

I'm just going to have to continue to remind myself that 50 years from now, the 3 hours of enjoyment I might have gotten from having chair covers at the reception will not make a difference one way or another. What will make a difference is whether or not Alex and I make the choice every day to be participants in our marriage, and to love one another above all else. So - at some point, I'm going to need to let go of the 100% fairy tale wedding, and go with more of a hybrid - 50% fairy tale, and 50% realistic.

Oh - and I have GOT to stop watching Platinum Weddings. (For those who have never seen it - it's about people who spend more than a quarter of a million dollars on their weddings... I am elated to report that we are nowhere even close to a fraction of that amount!)

So - scaling back a bit is what's in order here. As is true with make-up, let's hope that weddings benefit from the "less is more" approach. :)

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, C'MON!

We booked a DJ.

We wanted to go with the company for which I worked during the end of high school and beginning of college, but unfortunately, I would never get them to return my phone calls or emails. So we went with a competitor.

It's going to be great! This company charges less and offers more. I'm thinking the reception is going to be the can't miss party of the season. (At least - for Alex and me!)

I have an appointment with a potential florist on Wednesday this week. I'm a little scared about how much flowers might end up costing me. Especially since they are an item that I care less about than so many other details. (This is obvious, of course, because I've left them till almost last to deal with)

Today and tomorrow my hope is to sit down, and work the numbers. I want to know how much of our budget is left over, and just how scary this whole thing has gotten. We're very close to 100% planned and deposited - so I'm hoping there's enough left to stretch the last 3-5%.

Wedding bands

For those of you who are only keeping up through this blog - you'll be happy to know that the whole situation with my engagement ring, although a complete disaster, ended during the first week of May, and I do have my diamond on my finger.

Suffice it to say that the designer with whom we worked will no longer be a person we would recommend to anyone. Furthermore, I am wearing just a plain band, instead of a custom piece now - because we have been a little too burned. We are going to give ourselves perhaps a year or two to recover before trying the whole custom thing again.

Yesterday, we went to our new jeweler - J. David in Broken Arrow - and purchased our wedding bands. Because I don't want to ruin it for anyone, I will not describe them - but rather wait until you all see them in December.

But they are both beautiful. Well, mine is beautiful... Alex's is handsome. :)

We still have no DJ. I need to get on that. AND I need to finalize the chair covers, etc... FLOWERS! I need to meet with the florist. But I have a florist in mind, and I think I know what I want to do for the flowers. (But in the past few days, my tastes have been evolving. SCARY!)

We did have our tasting at the Renaissance. We are going to be serving Asiago chicken and shrimp with tomato and artichoke mashed potatoes and green beans. It was REALLY delicious! We were so impressed with our tasting. They had a room all set up with a table, and the sign outside of the room said "McMeen Gates Wedding Tasting". We had a dedicated waitress - and it was pamper-city all the way. :)

We have also worked on narrowing down options for our rehearsal dinner. Which reminds me - if you are going to be coming into town and staying Friday night before the wedding, please let me know! I need to know what kind of numbers we will be dealing with.

In fact - what would be great would be if everyone would forward their travel itineraries to me with an indication of whether or not they will need airport to hotel transportation.

Those of you who know me well know that I LOVE to make spread sheets... So - feed my addiction, and give me data! ;)

Summer is upon us, and I know December will be here before we know it. (Just think, it was nearly 6 months ago that we began this blog... seems like only yesterday)

-B

It was all very Donald Trump, if you ask me...

Or, not really.

It was more like a train wreck.

We fired our ring designer on Friday evening. More accurately, we attempted to fire our ring designer on Friday evening. He would not be fired. I know this sounds ridiculous, but it was how it went down.

I called him, and told him he should just give our diamonds and gold to Rick or my Mom, and that we were going to take them someplace else. His reaction was anything but professional. It ranged from self-righteous indignation to him accusing me of being unrealistic to him saying he was "closed for the weekend" and that it would take longer for us to "get lawyers and police involved than for him to just finish the ring".

It boils down to this. He yelled at me. He told me that he treated me like family, and that he couldn't believe I had so little faith in him. My response was that we started this process in November, and that every time he gives us a date for something to be completed, when that date comes, he pushes it back a week.

Because he yelled at me, I am done. I will not speak to him on the phone again. If it is ever necessary for he and I to communicate, it will be done in writing. Marmee to the rescue. She is going to be the one to do the talking with him from here out. I don't want Alex to do it, because I honestly think this guy will purposely try to provoke Alex into a fight. So - Mom is going to get either a finished product, or all of the components by this coming Wednesday.

What we've decided is that we're just going to take the diamond and have it set in a plain solitaire for now. When we can afford to, we'll go through a new design process with a different designer. For now - we just want our diamond back, and we want it to be on my finger where it belongs.

I can't tell you how awkward it is to say, "my fiance..." and then people look immediately at my finger. Then, I have to explain at least part of the whole bitter story.

Suffice it to say, Alex and I aren't planning on using any more family friends for anything. Wedding or otherwise. The reason? If something is unsatisfactory - we need to be able to NOT worry about the relationship, and just worry about getting what we have paid for.

This ring thing has been a NIGHTMARE just almost start to finish. We both hope that this was our huge obstacle - and the rest of the wedding planning will go smoothly. :) We can dream, can't we??

-b

Now that I have an audience...

Ehem..

Well - now that I've let you guys know that this blog exists - I've been hearing complaints about not keeping it updated. Okay, okay...

We've booked the photobooth for our wedding! Those of you who were at Brian & Jennifer's wedding last summer got to play with the photobooth, and realize how much fun it is! We decided it was a non-negotiable.

We are working on booking our DJ. We're really hoping to get Powerhouse to do it, since that was the DJ company I worked with for about 5 years off and on. The owners are close family friends, and I know that they would do a great job.

STILL

WAITING

ON

THE

RING

No, I'm not joking. I am, however, EXTREMELY disappointed, and upset about the whole situation. I've contacted another custom design studio, and told them about our misfortune in this process. They are willing to take the gold and diamonds from the ring we get, and turn it into something we actually like. At this point, I think even looking at the ring that this other guy designed will make us both too angry to ever enjoy it. I am ready to fire him. I just don't know how to handle the situation. Which is strange, because normally - ESPECIALLY with customer service situations, I am the person who will take no crap. But since this guy is a friend of Rick's - even though Rick has said not to worry about it - I don't want to be a complete beyotch.

At the same time, we started this process on November 23, and it sure is April 13.

There are a few details popping up here and there - chair covers, seating arrangements, etc... But really, the big things will be booked after we get the DJ squared away.

Coming up in the next month or so - we'll go in for a food tasting to the hotel. I'm thinking the "chipper chicken" will do fine. :) But I am intrigued by what they will have for the butler passed hors d'oeuvres. YUM-O. :)

Otherwise, we are moving at break neck speed toward an event that is still SEVEN MONTHS AWAY. :)

Which is necessary, because April 25th may indeed be the day we find out for certain if we are relocating to Norman. (And I imagine, we will be) So everything needs to be planned before then.

Okay, campers - I'm off to bed now. I promise to keep you better informed.

-b

A dress! A song! We're moving right along!

Over spring break, my mother, maid of honor, one of my bridesmaids, and I made a pilgrimage to OKC to look at dresses.

I am happy to report that all 4 of us found one!!! I can't give any details... That would be cheating, but I can say that the dress I settled on is the most beautiful thing I've ever worn, and I looked AWESOME in it!

What is the magic of the bridal gown that can transform any woman into a beauty?

In other news - Alex brought a song to me that blew me away, and we have decided to use it for our first dance. :) Again - telling what it is would be cheating, but it is perfect for us!!

I'm getting to the point of having just about everything booked and ready, and looking at my calendar, I'm thinking - SHEESH! Will December ever get here??

We're still more than 200 days out....

...

.........

I'm so ready to be Alex's wife. I'm so ready to have him as my husband! The anticipation is starting to really get to me.

I've got to change my focus.

b

It happened! I was there!

After weeks and weeks of using our intense address gathering detective skills, we sent out our Save the Date cards last week. And, aside from Amber calling them the STD cards at one point, it went very well.

Until yesterday.

When one CAME BACK!



-x

I aim to take over the world.

Tomax and Xamot should watch out.

-x

The ring's the thing

Alex said "gettin' married is awesome!" I know he was being sarcastic, though. Because that's his natural habitat.

We STILL don't have the correct version of the engagement ring on my finger. We're both at about our wits' end.

Our designer called us Friday evening, and put us off yet once again. We don't know whether to fire him or not, because he is such a good friend of my Mom & Stepdad. But holy gads... It's been since November already.

In other news - we have booked our cake. It is going to be fabulous and super yummy!

I'm on spring break this week - so I'll be working on getting those Save the Date cards out to each of you!

xoxo

In Case You Missed It

Here is the speech I gave at the Engagement Party last Friday.

There is an extended remix version that may or may not include the official proposal.

It might be on the Director's Cut.

-x


I have a plan.

A scheme. Thoughts on ideas on theory based on fact and observation. Hatched in the dead of night, examined in the daylight of warm afternoons.

I have a plan of the past. I have felt betrayal. I have known the pain of loss. I have see joy jump from face to face. I have lain awake nights dreaming of missed opportunity and broken connections. I have been with people. I have been alone, lost in the sea of myself. Overwhelmed by History, but knowing my ancestors have all conspired to bring me to this moment.

I have a plan of the present. Living in this moment. Capturing the memory of now to pass down to my future.

I have a plan of the future. I know where I'll be December 27th. I have talked of flowers and invitations, of music and types of cake. I have spoken of children who we will raise to be citizens and patriots, members of the world who know how history of self and family are necessary to understand everyone and everything around you.

I have a plan of commitment. Of sacrifice and longing for each other. A plan of family and being a branch in a much larger tree. Of watching children start their own lives with others and grandchildren in turn start theirs.

And so we stand here tonight, holding hands, faces turned toward the Sun.

Tonight I thank each of you for helping Amber and I in our journey here. You have touched our lives in important ways. Your thoughts and ideas have allowed us to come together tonight and look toward the future. And so we celebrate each of you as you have celebrated us.

A venue, an engagement party, and a proposal!

Hello again!

Things are looking up for our little event.

After MUCH negotiating and strife - we were able to come to an agreement with the Renaissance, and we have decided to sign a contract with them! It is going to be expensive. To be honest - I didn't have a realistic budget in mind for this wedding. I honestly thought that I could do a moderately elegant and simple wedding for half the regional average, which is $27,000...

I

was

wrong.

Way wrong, in fact. It seems the regional average is an average for a reason. Things are so ridiculously expensive. I am in the wrong business, that's for sure.

That having been said - I'm glad we've settled on the Renaissance, because it is REALLY a beautiful hotel.

Oh - and did I mention a proposal?

I did! Alex proposed on Feb. 29th! It was beautiful, and touching, and exactly what I wanted it to be. I'm pretty sure he is planning to post it on this page for your reading pleasure. Suffice it to say - I cried, and then accepted. :)

So - it's official! I am going to be Mrs. Gates! :)

Tick tock... Can't wait til December 27th.

We had a lovely engagement party hosted by my Mother on Friday night. There were about 30 people there, and it was a lot of fun. (Despite the brutally awkward part where everyone took turns introducing themselves, and how they know Alex and me.)

It was at our favorite little Mexican restaurant, and we took over the place. They were wonderful hosts - and good times were had by all.

This week - our Save the Date cards will go out. Hopefully, we'll be able to post a jpeg of them on here... I'm not that tech savvy, though - so that will have to be Alex's job.

-b

Level up!

Still no official engagement, but -

WE'VE GOT THE RING. Okay - we've got the beta version of the ring. Our designer called us on Friday evening, and said that he had something he wanted to try on my finger. When we got there, and he gave me the box, I opened it and saw my beautiful diamond set in a gorgeous ring!

It's the beta version because we got a little carried away designing. We designed to the 100th of a millimeter. In reality - that's too small a scale to design to. So - he is going to have to adjust one of the elements to 1/4 millimeter. But at least I have the beta ring to wear until then. :)

After we got the ring, as planned, I gave it to Alex to keep until he was ready to propose. But he decided I should go ahead and wear the ring, and we should go ahead and tell people that we are getting married! So, we went straight to his Mother's house to show and tell her. Then to dinner with my Mom to show and tell her. Yesterday, I nearly lost my voice calling everyone in my phone book - and we had lunch with my Dad to show and tell once again.

It is very exciting! I do love how just showing people the ring lights up their day and mine all at the same time. :)

The next 11 months are going to fly by, and I'm pretty sure it's going to be really fun!

More soon.

The first shaky steps

We aren't officially engaged. Not yet.

Alex brought a ring to me in November, saying that was the ring he wanted to base my engagement ring design on. It wasn't a proposal - and it was secret for a long time. Technically - it still is. Only, he acquiesced to let me tell my Mother, my maid of honor, Sarah, and he told his brother and our friend Josh. And aside from the people who are already working on this wedding - no one else knows.

This is hard for me because I want to shout it from the rooftops that after 5 years together, we're finally doing this! YAY!!!!!!!

But we have a sort of unspoken agreement that we won't tell everyone until the ring is on my finger. And it's been nearly 2 months in the design process. We have our diamond - and the design is in its final stages at this point. But it will be at least 2 more weeks before the word can be officially spread.

TWO MORE WEEKS! Maybe three!

I've had to specifically avoid certain people for fear that I would spill the beans.

Despite all of my bitching, though - I'm glad we're waiting for the ring. I don't think the news would be as well received with an awkward "the ring is still being designed" tied to the end of it.

Maybe it's my imagination.

In any case - although we are not yet officially engaged - we have made our first steps toward planning this wedding. Already, it has a life of its own. It has a pulse and a brain, and worst of all, an insatiable appetite for MONEY! All the bridal books say - "Make a budget, and stick to it - NO MATTER WHAT!" I have resolved to do just that.

I'm going to stick to this budget like white on rice. I will not be bested by this wedding juggernaut!!

We've got less than a year to go, and between this, work, and school - I would imagine there will be SEVERAL stressed-out melt-downs to come.

Stay tuned, kids...

b